Living through the hardest thing I've ever done, A SECOND TIME.

Well, I served in the military for close to six years. During that time I was in Iraq where I was injured and then sent home where I went through a year and a half of grueling physical therapy and then a medical evaluation board to see if I was fit for service. They decided no, and released me. Ever since then I have gradually started to succumb to the effects of PTSD. I has gotten to the point of seclusion and retraction from even family events. When I went to the V.A. to get my son claimed as a dependant I was told that I should claim my PTSD. I need the care that is given by the medical field and don't necessarily have the means of paying for it all.
I sent my letter to the V.A. and they sent me a packet illustrating the things that they needed in order to find out whether or not I would be able to claim my PTSD as a service connected incident, like I had had any other stressors to cause it. Well, I filled out the paperwork and had some family members write some letters and wrote a letter about some experiences, the least painful to live through. I received a packet back saying that they needed more information.
I contacted my friend who works for the V.A. and asked what I should do and he suggested that I contact the Veterans of Foreign Wars or Disabled American Veterans or someone who might know more about what is needed. I had an appointment and took my dad with me, because we were going to prune some trees afterward. The counselor started talking about what was needed and told me that I had to, "RETURN TO THE DARKEST PLACES." Not my idea of a good time not even a little bit. At one point during her random questions she started asking about things I had experienced telling me that I need to write about that. I was overcome with an overwhelming urge, I can't say exactly what it was but I just wanted to run away and cry.
My dad was able to get the information and ideas on how I was to accomplish this improbable task. Now all I need to do is try to find a way to crawl into the deepest darkest parts of my brain and memory and try to wrench out those things that I have tried hard to bury. I am supposed to set a timer and then only hit this endeavor at 5 minute increments. I think that I may try to keep a record of all of the experiences and put them in a book about my time. Like there aren't enough disgruntled ex military writing books.
Well for anyone who happens upon this blog hopefully the next few posts don't make you think I'm a wiener or scare you, which I doubt they will. The whole experience was really a lot more stressful while in the situation.